Contemplation
by Cpt. Kallan Beyda
Summary: Ken sits in the Snak J and considered life and love and loss. The three are intertwined in his mind.
1. Chapter 1

'Want another one?' Jun asked, pointing to the brown bottle before Ken.

Picking it up to show the liquid level well above half, he smiled back continuing to nurse his drink. They'd practiced this deception for years now. The bottle contained non-alcoholic ginger beer. Ken didn't drink, at all. He couldn't given his status as Gatchaman and constantly being on call.

'I'm right for now,' he returned with twinkle in his blue eyes.

'You could always come back here,' Jun indicated her side of the bar, 'and pay for it with services rendered.'

Making a display of turning out his empty pockets, Ken kept the joke going, 'not today, but can you add it to my tab?' A running joke between them, both their cover stories had always been financed through creative ISO accounting. 'I have a mail run this afternoon to fill these,' he teased lightly.

'Likely story,' Jun smiled back.

Her attention caught by another customer, she turned and walked away. Watching her stride towards the other man, Ken admired everything about the beautiful woman. He'd always been fascinated by dark haired girls. He guessed it came from is attraction to Jun. Trying several short term relationships, Ken soon realised his heart wanted only one person. No matter how much the body warming his bed resembled _**his**_ Swan, so far none had been able to take her place.

_Strange_, Ken admired Jun flirting with her customer as he lifted the bottle to his lips. Only Jun knew he didn't drink. Only Jun knew of his loneliness. Only Jun seemed to understand him and the massive responsibility he carried on his shoulders. _And yet_, his mind supplied_, only Jun is stopping us forming any kind of relationship outside of the team. People think it's the other way around. Joe believes me to be emotionally stunted and oblivious. Ryu can't believe I don't see what's before my eyes every day. Junpei tries at every opportunity to make me see his sister as a love interest. Don't any of them realise its Jun who's not attracted to me. She sees me as an older brother, someone to confide in, to trust, and to keep her safe. Yes, I know she cares me, as a member of her family. If they asked, I'd have to tell them exactly how much I love her. That I'm in love with her and always have been. _

Ken couldn't help recalling the one time he'd tried to take things further. At the end of a particularly hard mission, he dropped by the Snack J. Taking Jun in his arms, he'd tried to kiss her.

Pulling away she'd asked in an irate voice, 'what do you think you're doing?'

'I'm sorry, I thought,' Ken stammered, hurt shining in his gaze.

'Well you thought wrong,' Jun fired back, anger in her green eyes.

'It won't happen again,' he'd promised and it hadn't.

'It had better not.' Softening her tone, Jun added, 'I think of you as my brother, Ken. That's all you'll ever be to me. I'm sorry.'

Things had been a little strange since then. Koji came and went. Ken suspected Jun actually fell for him. They'd regained their closeness after that but the relationship still remained the same between them. Watching as Jun moved to yet another customer, he admired her fluid grace.

_This_, he mentally berated_, is all I'll ever have of her. I have to make it be enough. No matter how I try, I don't think I'll ever find anyone to match my beautiful Swan._


	2. Chapter 2

'So,' Joe slid into onto the stool beside Ken.

'So,' Ken returned, lifting his bottle to his lips and his attention away from the object of his affections. _Caught_, he sighed internally, _now I really will have to take the Cessna up for a look around this afternoon_.

He'd been sitting quietly at the Snack J for an hour enjoying the atmosphere. His favourite pastime, watching Jun serve her customers now interrupted, Ken turned his attention to Joe. With his second seated beside Gatchaman, that guilty pleasure would no longer be possible. Joe would catch him in a heartbeat and take it as a conformation of all he through true. After all they were all well trained and experienced Ninja.

'You ever going to make a move,' Joe's head indicated Jun while his lips turned down slightly.

'Nope,' Ken responded, ensuring he kept his eyes forward.

Locking gazes with Joe through his reflection in the mirrored surface behind the bar, he pleaded not to continue the interrogation. Usually Joe approached the subject much more subtly, working his way up to discussing Ken's feeling for Jun. As usual, the Sicilian took little notice.

'Why the hell not?' Joe rolled his eyes in exasperation.

Ken knew he wouldn't leave it alone. Spectra had been merciless recently and the team were feeling a sense of their own mortality. In the last month, they'd managed five days in their real lives. That suited Ken just fine. The more they fought, the more he got to see Jun. Not that he allowed his attraction to show. Joe would catch that in a second.

'Well,' Joe elbowed him in the ribs.

They'd had this conversation or one just like at least every other week for the last three years. Since Jun's eighteenth birthday a few months back, Ryu added his voice to Joe's. Gatchaman avoided the Snack J when he knew the others would be there most of the time. He couldn't afford to slip up or be too obvious.

Dealing with Jinpei's sorrowful glances proved to be difficult enough without the other two on his case at the same time. Surprisingly, they hid their true intentions from Jun. Even he suspected she had little idea of the byplay right under her nose. They'd taken Ken's avoidance as him being even more oblivious than usual.

'Maybe I'm gay,' Ken suggested, keeping his blue gaze arrowed on Joe.

Snorting, the Sicilian stated, 'yeah, right.' A wicked gleam entered the gunner's eyes. 'Do you find me attractive?' he asked suddenly.

'What,' Ken snorted, his ginger been slipping down his windpipe instead of his throat. It took several second to get his coughing fit under control. Jun looked towards the two, ensuring her teammates weren't trying to kill each other. Happy they behaved themselves, she returned to her customer.

'Well,' Joe insisted, turned on his stool to face his leader, 'would you date me?'

'Hell, no,' Ken managed.

'Why?' demanded Joe. When Ken refused to answer, he continued to probe. 'I'm not your type? You go for pretty boys?'

'Are you telling me you're gay?' Ken asked, astounded.

'Hell, no,' Joe gave one of his shit eating grins, 'I like being the meat in the sandwich.' Just for shock value, something he'd always been good at, the gunner added, 'you know, man on one side, woman on the other. You should try it.'

'Your bi,' choked Ken, although why the thought shocked him, he didn't know. Joe had always been up for anything.

'Let's just say,' Joe smiled evilly, 'I like to keep my options open and my dating pool as large as possible.'

'I got a mail run this afternoon,' Ken replaced his half full bottle on the counter.

Waving to Jun, he stood to leave. This conversation just got too weird. Only the fact he could actually see Joe experimenting with more than one partner at the same time lead him to believe his friend. Ken learnt the hard way not to put anything beyond Joe.

'What,' Joe lifted an eyebrow, 'dose Hakase really have you doing? Does he suspect another incursion so close to the last one? I was just starting to enjoy being home.'

'You have a double date tonight?' Ken managed to tease, before offering, 'I'll let you know if I find something.'

'Right,' Joe's eyes watched him leave. Signalling Jun over, he asked, 'how long's he been here?'

'Why?' Jun's green eyes attempted to find out what Joe wanted.

'He's been spending a lot of time here recently,' Joe made a question out of the statement.

'No more than the rest of you,' Jun returned with a snort. 'After all none of us has had much time off recently. Ken needs more down time with the responsibility for us as well as the rest of his duties. Sometimes I think you forget that.'

'Really,' Joe raised his eyebrow. 'I kind of thought you might be encouraging him to come around while the rest of us were busy.'

'Why,' Jun managed to look astounded, 'would I do that.'

'Why, indeed,' Joe decided on a completely new tact. If Ken wouldn't come to Jun, maybe he'd see if he could encourage Jun to go to Gatchaman.


	3. Chapter 3

'Jun,' Joe called, signalling he needed her unique brand of attention

.Waving an empty beer bottle in the air, he requested another. He'd been sitting at the bar, nursing his drink and wondering how to get Jun to approach Ken. _It's not like the great Eagle is going to do it any time soon_, Joe mused, _and I'm sick of his pretending to be ignorant. Does he really think I don't see the way he drools over Jun at every chance, especially when he assumes were not looking? Even Ryu's noticed lately. Man that is one love sick Gathaman._

'That all you need?' she asked, popping the top and placing the drink before him.

Joe had that look in his eye. The one that said I'm planning something. The fact Ken had been here and his second sat in quiet contemplation sent a warning up Jun's spine.

'You ever thought about it?' The Condor asked quietly.

'It?' she replied. Allowing a confused expression to envelop her face, she understood exactly what Joe meant. After all, she only played at being dumb. _Ken's not the only one who can be oblivious when they want to be. Beside, you boys make your intentions so obvious_, she signed inwardly. _It's time to put a stop to this. It's killing Ken and they can't see it._

'Yeah,' Joe allowed a sexy grin to cover his face as he stated, 'sex.'

'All the time,' Jun frowned, wondering if she'd gotten the wrong idea, 'but not with you.'

'What about with Ken?' Joe finally decided on the direct route since she'd brought up the subject.

'I thought he'd be more your type,' Jun responded, allowing a sly smile to cover her features. _This_, she realised, _line of questioning I can play with_.

'My type?' Joe almost choked. He'd kept his sexual orientation from Jun and Jinpei due to their age. Even he had standards.

'Oh come on, Joe,' Jun decided to tease a little. 'I've seen you eyeing him up. You like a nice piece of ass and Ken's got a great tush if you're into that kind of thing.'

'I've never,' he stuttered. Giving Jun a piercing look, Joe stated emphatically, 'Ken's not into men. He likes dark haired, green eyed women.'

'I don't know,' Jun tormented with an innocent air as possible. 'The two of you talk about girls all the time but I've never seen Ken with one. I think he'd make a good tag team with the blond you're currently using to take out your frustrations after Glactor attacks.'

'Blond?' Joe had never let Pamela anywhere near the Snack. 'How do you know about her?'

'I'm not blind,' Jun stated, leaning on the bar, drawing circles in the condensation from Joe's untouched beer. 'She's gorgeous, with curves in all the right places. I could sure loose myself in those warm chocolate eyes. If you ever get sick of her, why don't you send her my way? I might be able to make her appreciate a different kind of relationship.'

'Shit,' Joe bellowed, 'you're gay.'

Winking, Jun turned and walked away. 'Took you long enough to figure it out.'


End file.
